Background
Very often there is misunderstanding between parents and schools. This can happen if parents do not respond to letters or accept the school’s or professionals’ recommendations.
We recently worked with a mother of African heritage and her five-year-old daughter, who was diagnosed with autism. The mother was concerned that staff at her daughter’s school were talking about child protection for her daughter.
During consultation with Sosalin, she reported that the school and other professionals believed her daughter had autism, but she did not believe it. Although the little girl lived with both her mother and father, the father did not know about the autism diagnosis — the mother had asked school staff not to discuss the matter with him. The school had sent several letters to the mother, but she did not attend any meetings with the school or other professionals.
The Challenge
It became clear that the mother did not fully understand what autism meant or its impact. She believed her daughter would “grow out of” not talking and would one day speak in full adult sentences — which is why she did not accept professional advice or attend meetings to learn how to support her daughter at home.
From the school and other professionals’ point of view, because the mother did not attend meetings or respond to letters, she was seen as a parent who was not complying with professional recommendations or supporting a child with significant needs. This caused real concern for the child’s wellbeing, which is why the school raised child protection issues.
Our Approach
Sosalin offered the family our Additional Need Support for Families package. We also attended meetings with the mother and became a named contact, communicating with everyone supporting her daughter.
At a home visit, we learned the mother had no education after high school and had some difficulty understanding English. Because our consultant is African, the mother felt comfortable enough to talk openly about her culture, beliefs, and the social stigma surrounding autism. She explained that her main reason for not telling her husband was fear that he and his family would blame her for causing their daughter’s autism.
At a school visit, it became clear her daughter did not speak. The speech and language therapist and school staff had introduced the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) for her daughter to use in school — but the mother was not using PECS at home, for the same reason: she did not want her husband to find out. She explained she worried her daughter would be the only person in the family using PECS during visits to Africa, which she feared would lead to accusations that she and her husband were cursed, that her daughter would be mocked, or that family members might even suggest her daughter should be hidden away to avoid embarrassment.
Our consultant read through all the documents and letters the mother had received, explaining unfamiliar terms such as autism, and the implications including social communication difficulties, Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs), and specialist schools. By the end of the first session, the mother began to understand autism and its everyday impact — recognising it as a developmental neurological difference rather than a curse.
We then explained our analysis of the situation from the school and professionals’ perspective, including why her lack of engagement had raised child protection concerns. On hearing this, she was upset, explaining that she loved her daughter deeply and would do anything to help her — she prayed at church every day for her daughter to speak.
By the end of the third session, the mother understood how important it was to work with the school and health professionals, and that support was available to her and her daughter. Sosalin worked closely with both the mother and the professionals involved, and with her agreement, we explained her concerns and cultural context to the professionals, helping build a shared understanding.
The Outcome
After six sessions, the mother had learned how to use PECS, and told her husband about their daughter’s diagnosis. She began attending meetings and building good relationships with everyone working with her daughter.
The school and all professionals involved are now reassured that the little girl is getting the support she needs, and the child protection concerns have been resolved.
She loved her daughter and would do anything to help her — praying every day for her daughter to speak.